


Daughters

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: My Boss's Niece [12]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:25:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The girl worshipped her cosmopolitan aunt her whole life; he probably couldn't have stopped this if he tried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daughters

Josh slid into bed at 12:30, cuddling close to Hogan. She smiled as she took hold of one hand and the other caressed her expanding abdomen. He softly kissed the nape of her neck.

"Mmm, hi."

"Shh, don't wake up. Sorry I'm late."

Hogan turned to look at him. Josh wore a smile as her skin slid against his.

"I was waiting for you." She whispered.

"Didn't quite make it, huh?"

"I did OK. You're late Lyman."

"Well I had to work late so I could have a three day weekend. What did you and Noah do today?"

"We watched Friends. Then after I put him down, I had ice cream and watched Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Then Sam called to say hello. After that Charlie called; then Aunt CJ."

"I didn't ask anyone to check up on you. I swear."

"You're a lousy liar Lyman."

"OK, I didn't ask Sam and CJ to check up on you."

"Mmm hmm. Tell me more of this three day weekend."

"The President is in Texas so I thought you, me, and Noah could do the family thing for approximately 72 hours."

"Well when you say it like that I'd be an idiot to turn it down."

She laughed and it made Josh smile. The past two months since they came home from Providence had been the best since the beginning of their relationship. Hogan went into therapy, started taking better care of herself and gained eleven pounds. They talked again, laughed, and shared moments that reminded them of why they fell in love in the first place. His Hogan was back. Noah sensed his parent's contentment…the three year old could not stop smiling.

"I love you." Josh whispered, caressing her face.

Hogan pushed him over on his back, straddling him. Josh ran her hands down her shoulders.

"I love you too, and I want you."

She would get no objection from him. He met her halfway for a passionate kiss, sitting up on his elbows and adjusting her weight as Hogan sank onto his erection.

"Oh yeah sweetie." He breathed.

It had been over two weeks since they made love. Hogan said the rainy weather made her tired and achy. Josh sympathized and certainly didn't bother her about it. He missed her body so much.

"Hogan you're so beautiful. Harder sweetie."

She rocked her hips faster. Josh closed his eyes, thrusting upward and loving her response. She leaned forward, drawing his mouth to her nipple. Josh latched on, she moaned as he sucked her hard.

"Oh God, oh God! Joshua!"

Gripping his shoulders, she came with a squeal. He thrust his way to orgasm and they sat recovering for a few minutes.

"I don't know how often we are going to be doing that anymore."

Hogan lay on her side, staring at him as he watched shadows on the ceiling.

"You alright?" Josh asked, looking at her.

"Yeah, not counting the wobbly thighs, strained back and sore knees."

"Aw, poor baby."

Josh pulled her into her arms; kissed her shoulder.

"You think you could look after Noah tomorrow afternoon? I was going to call Shelby but if you're home…Noah would love to spend time with his daddy."

"Of course. What are your plans?"

"I'm going to Bethesda to see my father." She replied.

"Doug? Is he alright?"

"Yeah. We're going to have lunch and talk. Dr. McKenzie thinks its time; I think its time."

Dr. Sonya McKenzie was Hogan's psychiatrist. She saw her twice a week since she went off her medication due to her pregnancy. They got along really well and for the first time in her life, she felt comfortable enough to share some of her fears, memories, and problems. The young woman knew it was going to be a process, and not an easy one, but Hogan was ready to get well. She was grown up with a family…the past belonged in the right box.

"You really ready?" Josh asked.

He yawned and the couple cuddled in each other's arms.

"Past ready. Go to sleep, we'll talk more tomorrow."

***

At 12:45, Hogan rang the doorbell of the house she grew up in. That morning she and Josh had French toast with Noah over Sesame Street. Then she went into the bedroom and had a conference call.

"I'm going to see Dad today." She said.

"Good." Mary-Kate replied.

"Are you ready?" Lucinda asked.

"Last night I felt so sure. Now I'm shaking and really nervous."

"Its daddy Hogan." Lucinda said. "Despite everything he loves you and I think you know that."

She did, though that didn't make it easier. It always seemed like she and Doug Cregg clashed on everything; they had since the day he remarried.

"I think Angela will be there." Hogan said.

"No comment." Mary-Kate said. "Look, I don't have anything against Angela personally; I just think she made sure dad didn't salvage a workable relationship with mom. She feared her status as the woman he loved, but we fell in the crack."

"Forget her." Lucinda said. "This is about you and Dad. Of course she does have something to do with it but maybe you should start off small."

"Yeah. Thanks for being here for me…I can be more trouble than I'm worth sometimes."

"No." the twins said in unison.

"We love you." Lucinda said. "You are a wonderful big sister and we want to help you be even better."

Hogan smiled as her stepmother opened the door.

"Hello Hogan."

"Hi Angela, how are you?"

She came in and took off her raincoat.

"Good. How's Noah?"

"He's fine."

"Well your father is in the sunroom. I'm actually on my way out."

"Have a nice afternoon."

Hogan walked toward the back of the house as her stepmother left. The house was filled with pictures. Hogan, her sisters, her half-brother Tal. He was just 15 years old.

"Dad?"

"I'm in the sunroom. Come on in."

Hogan put on a happy face. It had always been her favorite room in the house…it was her escape.

"Sit down sweetie; you're carrying quite a load. How far along are you?"

"Almost six and a half months. How are you dad?"

"Good. I have to admit, I was surprised to hear from you."

"You are my father." She replied.

"I know that. We haven't always seen eye to eye."

She knew that.

"What did you make for lunch?" she wanted to change the subject.

"Cold pasta salad. Do you still love cranberry apple juice?"

"Yeah. I'm in therapy dad."

"Really? That's good then."

"It is. Um, my shrink and I have been talking about reestablishing ties with my family, or at least figuring out how things happened the way they did."

"You were never the same after your mother and I split up."

Hogan laughed a bit.

"She ran out on us Dad. She left a note on the bathroom mirror. Why?"

Doug didn't know. For years, he tried to figure it out too. His sanity became more important so he gave up. A few months after he met Angela and didn't look back.

"Your mom is a beautiful, smart, amazing woman, who suffers from a mental illness. I think if she knew then what she knew now things may have been different."

"Yeah. Well firstly I would've known that I was in danger of going crazy too."

"You are not crazy." Doug said.

"I packed up my son and ran in the middle of the night. I did exactly what she did."

"You took Noah. You didn't do exactly what she did."

"I'm not saying it would have been easy to have a crazy mother. But I guess it was better than nothing."

"I wish…I don't know. I did the best I could but I know I cut myself off emotionally from you guys."

Hogan wanted to blame her father and mother for so much, but that only went so far. It was not as if she had some horrible childhood. Superficially, they were the perfect upper middle class family. Hogan wanted for nothing…the best schools, clothes and life money could afford. It was her insides that suffered and she didn't even fully realize it until she was alone at Vassar.

"I'm 28 years old now dad and all I really want is to move on with my life. The past is over and I have to focus on the future. Not just for myself, but for Noah, Natalie, and Josh."

Doug didn't approve one iota of her relationship with the White House Chief of Staff. He was a good enough man but 20 years older than his daughter. They were living in sin and though she was pregnant with her second child that seemed in no danger of changing.

"Yeah."

"Dad, I know Josh is not your favorite person…"

"He's fine Hogan. You love him and I know he cares for you." Doug shrugged. "I stopped thinking a long time ago that I could have any real say in you and your sisters' lives."

"There is always Tal." She replied.

"Yeah."

Hogan smiled.

"I was hoping that this would be the start of you coming around more. I want to spoil my grandkids."

"I don't know dad. I have no problem with you seeing the kids, you know that. I still have things I need to work through."

"My support is here for you if you need it. Angela's too."

"You should not volunteer people." She replied.

"Angela loves you guys."

"That's debatable Daddy. Angela loves you. She…anyway, do you know how I can contact mom?"

"No." Doug shook his head. "Mary-Kate and Lucinda would; they still talk to her frequently. I really wish you got along better with Angela…she could have been a good mother figure."

"I had a good mother figure. CJ put me high on her priority list though God knows she didn't have enough time. But I love her because she didn't have to. She and Uncle Leo have been…I don't know where I would be without them."

Doug did. She would be married to a person her own age and not reliving her aunt's tumultuous life. The girl worshipped her cosmopolitan aunt her whole life; he probably couldn't have stopped this if he tried.

"I better go. Josh is off today so we really wanted to do something as a family."

"The Administration is almost over. That should be a source of some joy."

"Yes and no. Josh is already restless so I'm wondering what's next. He's still young enough to stay in the game."

"I thought you wanted out of DC." Doug replied.

"I do. We'll see dad…my patience is getting better these days." She stood from the couch.

"Maybe I can bring Noah down next weekend to run around. Is Josh invited?"

"Yeah. He is always welcome."

Hogan smiled, leaning to kiss her father's cheek.

"Bye dad."

"I love you Hogan. You are my first child and I will never stop."

She nodded, squeezed his hand and saw herself out.

***

"I'm back."

"Hi mommy!" Noah exclaimed.

"Hey honey."

Hogan walked into the living room, bending to kiss her two favorite men. She sat on the couch and smiled when Noah cuddled close to her.

"How was it?" Josh asked.

"Alright. Hey, what are you guys doing?"

"Making a castle." Noah replied.

"Its not coming out at all like it looks on the box." Josh said.

"Harvard and Yale and you can't finish a Lego castle."

"Bite me."

Hogan gnashed her teeth; Josh laughed.

"Actually someone was going to get ready for a nap but…"

"Daddy…" Noah whined, pushing his face into his mother's breasts.

"Uh uh, let's go buddy."

Josh got up from the floor, lifted Noah from the couch and up over his head. The little boy squealed.

"Josh, be careful."

"He doesn't weigh anything."

"Um, he's huge."

Josh laughed, telling him they were fine.

"Be right back."

They walked back to the bedroom and Hogan smiled. She relaxed into the couch, rubbing her stomach. Natalie kicked.

"Hey sweetheart. Did you like the cold pasta salad we have for lunch? It was OK."

"Who are you talking to?"

Josh sat on the couch, placing his hand over Hogan's.

"She is talking to me."

"What did she say?"

"I don't think the pasta salad was her thing."

"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.

"Yeah. I talked to my dad. It was not like some epiphany but I know it was a step in the right direction. Luckily Angela did not stick around."

"I think you're going to have to reach out to her eventually too." He said.

"Yeah, don't push. I have one mother that I have to wade through enough shit with."

"I know." Josh kissed her forehead.

"Its OK. Today was a start. I intend to spend the rest of the day with my family."

"Yeah I thought we should go out tomorrow, before the weather gets too cold. Noah loves playing in the park and it is the perfect way to tire him out."

"That is a good idea. Josh, what are we going to do when the Administration is over?"

"Whatever you want." He replied.

"And you are not going to spring some last minute, political, stay in DC thing on me?" she asked.

"No."

"You answered too quickly."

"Hogan!"

"C'mon, be honest with me. It is not still running through your veins?"

"I don't know if it will ever stop. But I do know, from experience, that it can kill you. I've had a 16-year run of the White House and I've been in politics for almost 25 years. I want peace; I want my family."

She smiled, caressing his face and drawing his face close for a kiss.

"How long before Noah wakes up?"

"I tuckered him out pretty good today. I thought last night was our encore performance."

Hogan stood up from the couch, reaching for her fiancée's hand.

"Lyman, you should know by now that I have an extensive bag of tricks."

The smile that spread across Josh's face lit up the whole room and brought out his dimples. He let her take him back to the bedroom.

***

Friday night meant burgers and fries. They watched CNN and Noah observed that Wolf Blitzer was nice. That made Hogan giggle.

"Look, you're giving my son crushes on news men."

"Hey, Wolf Blitzer is attractive for an older man."

Hogan laughed again.

"What am I going to do with the both of you?"

She kissed her son and Noah laughed.

"Will you guys be alright while I make a phone call?" Hogan asked.

"Yeah, go ahead. We're good, right buddy?"

"Right daddy."

Hogan went into the bedroom, sitting Indian style on her bed. She and Josh spent their afternoon making love. Then while he played with Noah, she called Lucinda.

"Lu, do you have mom's phone number?"

"Yeah."

"Can I have it?"

"(212) 555-9672."

"212. I thought she was in New Mexico."

"She is teaching philosophy at Hudson…has been for almost 3 years."

"Oh OK."

"Are you going to call her?" Lucinda asked.

"I don't know. I have her number just in case, you know."

"Yeah. How was lunch with Dad?"

"OK. It is a process and we are both willing to walk it. Angela wasn't there and I think that was good because I am not ready for her yet. Thank you for the number."

"No problem. Keep me informed, OK?"

"Yeah. Bye."

Now Hogan stared at the phone. All of the numbers were pressed in; she just had to push send. This was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. She and her mother had not spoken since the night before she ran out on her family. Two years later, when Hogan was twelve, she called and expressed a desire to be close to her daughters again. As hard as Hogan tried, and she wrestled with herself for months, she could not open up to her. She wondered, as she pushed send, if 18 years had made any difference.

"Hello."

"Is this Helena Cregg?"

"This is Helena Davidson. Who's calling please?"

"Its Hogan."

"Hogan."

"Yeah. How are you doing?"

"Oh my God, I'm fine. How are you?"

"Good, well OK. Lucinda told me you were in New York now."

"I teach at Hudson. I…wow, honestly, I think I'm speechless. I never thought I would have the opportunity to have this conversation."

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to you. I'm getting ready to have my second child."

"I know. MK and Lucy keep me in the loop. I have some pictures of Noah in my office and at home. He is a beautiful little boy."

"He looks just like his father. Why didn't you try to reach me?" Hogan asked.

"I knew how angry you were Hogan; you and I are a lot alike. I had no idea what to say to you, and I looked up and five years had gone by. Then 10 years had gone by. It became so that I did not even know what to say anymore. How do you call someone all those years later and just say hello?"

Hogan was quiet for a while.

"Why did you leave us?"

"I woke up one morning and I had no idea who I was anymore. I was a scholar Hogan, when your father and I met by accident. I gave up so much for him because all my life no one ever looked at me. That was my own fault, but it was still true. I did not want to leave you and your sisters but I could hardly care for myself and I knew Doug would fight me. The place I was in was bad for you guys anyway."

"You left a damn note on the bathroom mirror." Hogan replied, her voice cracking.

"Your father and I had been discussing a trial separation for over a year when I left. It was not a shock to him. I went about it all wrong and I know that; its why I reached out again. I don't know, it was so long ago and all of us were different people."

"I wasn't a people mom. I was a 10-year-old girl who thought her mother didn't love her anymore. Why didn't you just talk to us?"

"People didn't do that sort of thing 20 years ago. You and your sisters were young and I didn't want to hurt you."

"You left us!" Hogan checked her tone. "You didn't want to hurt us but you left us?"

"Everything got out of control. I was so depressed when I ran. I didn't want to be separated from you and the twins for as long as I was. Doug and I were having problems…you girls paid the price."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to say bad things about your father. It was a lifetime ago. I have worked so hard to move on and make my life what I needed it to be. I drowned with Doug."

"I'm in therapy too. That is why I called. I have to grow and move on because somewhere deep inside of me that scared 10 year old still lives and she has manifested like you wouldn't believe lately. I almost lost the man I love."

"I understand Hogan. It happened to me."

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you for the past. The present and the future are important too though, and I think maybe we can build a friendship. Possibly a mutual understanding that adults have."

"I would truly love that. I would. My husband, Garrett, he would love to know you. I talk about you so much but to be honest I only know you as a little girl. Your sisters don't tell me much beyond the superficial. They know how hard is for both of us."

"How long have you been married?" Hogan asked.

"15 years. Wow, you've never met him."

"But you don't have any other children."

"No, Garrett and I live the life of bohemian intellectuals. I love my life now. Do you love yours?"

"I think I do. I will feel better when Josh and I move on with it after the Presidency is over. We are moving to Rhode Island, I think. I want to work in the arts community out there. Hey, I do come to New York a lot to visit family. Maybe when I come out we can have lunch and talk like grownups."

"Yeah. Hogan, I never meant for it to turn out like it did. If I could change it, I would in a heartbeat. I love you."

"I know. I should go but how about I call you in a week."

"OK. We'll talk then."

"Bye."

Hogan closed the phone, cried for a bit, and then went to spend some time with Noah before bedtime.

***

"It looks like the Times are going to endorse Stanbridge."

Josh read the paper in bed as Hogan worked on a seek and find.

"The Boston Globe supports Hoynes." She replied. "You think he has a chance in hell?"

"I do, though Bruno is not working with him like he did the Senate campaign. He is getting out of the game."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He's got a family now…lots of us are moving on."

Josh folded the paper and slid onto the bed. He caressed Hogan's stomach; she smiled as he lifted her tee shirt to kiss it.

"You had a long day." He said between kisses.

"Its over now. No tears, no rampages, and no regrets. OK, a few tears. Sonya will be proud."

"I'm proud sweetie. I love you."

"I love you too Lyman." She ran her fingers through his hair. "And I have you all weekend. I must be the luckiest girl on the planet."

"Do you mean that?"

He scaled her body, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

"Yes I do. Every word, with every fiber of my being."

"I am going to get my happy ending. Hot damn!"

Hogan laughed, caressing his face.

"Its mine too." She said. "We both deserve it. Thanks for…everything. It has been your love and support that have meant so much to me. Even when I was unbearable, you stayed. That means so much to me."

Josh gently pulled her body to his, turning off the lamp as she held her.

"Go to sleep Hogan. When you wake up we'll start our family weekend."

"Mmm, waking up in the morning never sounded so joyous."

***


End file.
